She had to make up her mind what to do. She would leave Venice on the Saturday that he was leaving Wragby: in six days' time. This would bring her to London on the Monday following, and she would then see him. She wrote to him to the London address, asking him to send her a letter to Hartland's hotel, and to call for her on the Monday evening at seven.

她不可以再犹豫不决。六天后，她就要离开威尼斯，像离开拉格比的那天一样是周六。这样她将于下周一抵达伦敦，到时便可与他碰面。她写信到他伦敦的地址，让他将回信寄去哈特兰饭店，并在周一晚七点去那里找她。

Inside herself she was curiously and complicatedly angry, and all her responses were numb. She refused to confide even in Hilda, and Hilda, offended by her steady silence, had become rather intimate with a Dutch woman. Connie hated these rather stifling intimacies between women, intimacy into which Hilda always entered ponderously.

她的内心完全被愤怒所占据，那种感觉奇异而复杂，以至于反应能力全部陷入麻痹的状态。她甚至不愿向希尔达吐露实情，而做姐姐的也因为她的缄默感到不悦，便和一个荷兰女人热络起来。康妮感觉女人间的亲密令人窒息，但希尔达却总是深陷其中。

Sir Malcolm decided to travel with Connie, and Duncan could come on with Hilda. The old artist always did himself well: he took berths on the Orient Express, in spite of Connie's dislike of trains de luxe, the atmosphere of vulgar depravity there is aboard them nowadays. However, it would make the journey to Paris shorter.

马尔科姆爵士决定和康妮同行，而邓肯则陪伴希尔达。这位老艺术家向来养尊处优，他订了两张东方快车的卧铺票，虽说康妮讨厌乘坐豪华列车，讨厌如今火车上那种庸俗堕落的氛围。尽管如此，乘火车能够缩短到巴黎所需的时间。

Sir Malcolm was always uneasy going back to his wife. It was habit carried over from the first wife. But there would be a house-party for the grouse, and he wanted to be well ahead. Connie, sunburnt and handsome, sat in silence, forgetting all about the landscape.

每当马尔科姆爵士要回到妻子身边，总会心神不宁。这是从其亡妻开始便遗留下来的习惯。但家里要搞个松鸡宴会，他想早点赶回去做准备。着上古铜色的康妮显得别有几分韵味，只是静静地坐着，一声不吭，对沿途的景致全然不觉。

"A little dull for you, going back to Wragby," said her father, noticing her glumness.

“要回到拉格比，你想必感觉有些烦闷。”父亲注意到她不悦的神情，关切地说。

"I'm not sure I shall go back to Wragby," she said, with startling abruptness, looking into his eyes with her big blue eyes. His big blue eyes took on the frightened look of a man whose social conscience is not quite clear.

“我还没拿定主意，要不要回到拉格比。”康妮忽闪着蓝色的大眼睛望向父亲，如此唐突的坦言着实吓人一跳。父亲那双蓝色的阔目流露出惊异的神色，而他向来不是过分拘泥于社会伦理道德的人。

"You mean you'll stay on in Paris a while?” "No! I mean never go back to Wragby." He was bothered by his own little problems, and sincerely hoped he was getting none of hers to shoulder.

“你是说，想在巴黎待一阵子？”“不！我的意思是，再也不回拉格比。”老爵士本就麻烦不断，实在不想女儿再给自己添乱。

"How's that, all at once?" he asked.

“怎么会这样？如此突然？”他问。

"I'm going to have a child.” It was the first time she had uttered the words to any living soul, and it seemed to mark a cleavage in her life.

“我怀孕了。”这是她头一次向别人透露这一秘密，这似乎也意味着其人生跨入新的阶段。

"How do you know?" said her father.

“你怎么知道的？”父亲问。

She smiled.

她微笑着。

"How SHOULD I know?" "But not Clifford's child, of course?” "No! Another man's.” She rather enjoyed tormenting him.

“我怎么会不知道？”“当然不会是克利福德的孩子？”“不是！不是他的骨肉。”惹得父亲心烦意乱，康妮倒感觉颇为有趣。

"Do I know the man?" asked Sir Malcolm.

“我认识那个人吗？”马尔科姆爵士继续追问。

"No! You've never seen him.” There was a long pause.

“不！你从未见过他。”两人沉默良久。

"And what are your plans?" "I don't know. That's the point.” "No patching it up with Clifford?" "I suppose Clifford would take it," said Connie. "He told me, after last time you talked to him, he wouldn't mind if I had a child, so long as I went about it discreetly.” "Only sensible thing he could say, under the circumstances. Then I suppose it'll be all right.” "In what way?" said Connie, looking into her father's eyes. They were big blue eyes rather like her own, but with a certain uneasiness in them, a look sometimes of an uneasy little boy, sometimes a look of sullen selfishness, usually good-humoured and wary.

“你打算怎么办？”“我还没想好。这恰恰是问题的关键。”“没法跟克利福德商量解决此事吗？”“我想克利福德会接受这个孩子。”康妮说。“上次你跟他谈过以后，他对我说过，只要我行事谨慎，他不会介意我怀上别人的孩子。”“他这样说，倒也算明白事理。依我看，这就没什么问题了。”“此话怎讲？”康妮盯着父亲的眼睛问。父亲那双蓝色的明眸与康妮的颇为相近，但眼神却游移不定，有时像个局促不安的男孩，有时则显得闷闷不乐，自私促狭。好在这双眼睛通常透露出愉快与审慎。

"You can present Clifford with an heir to all the Chatterleys, and put another baronet in Wragby." Sir Malcolm's face smiled with a half-sensual smile.

“你可以让克里福德后继有人，使查泰莱家香烟不绝，给拉格比添个小从男爵。”马尔科姆爵士的脸上浮现出笑容，显出几分性感。

"But I don't think I want to," she said.

“可我不想那样。”她说。

"Why not? Feeling entangled with the other man? Well! If you want the truth from me, my child, it's this. The world goes on. Wragby stands and will go on standing. The world is more or less a fixed thing and, externally, we have to adapt ourselves to it. Privately, in my private opinion, we can please ourselves. Emotions change. You may like one man this year and another next. But Wragby still stands. Stick by Wragby as far as Wragby sticks by you. Then please yourself. But you'll get very little out of making a break. You can make a break if you wish. You have an independent income, the only thing that never lets you down. But you won't get much out of it. Put a little baronet in Wragby. It's an amusing thing to do.” And Sir Malcolm sat back and smiled again. Connie did not answer.

“为什么？跟那男人难舍难离？好吧！孩子，你要是想听我明言，我就不妨打开天窗说亮话。世界日新月异。但拉格比现在将来都会始终屹立不摇。这世上总有些东西无法变更，我们必须调整自己，努力适应它，至少做好表面工作。我个人的意见是，私下里我们大可以随心所欲。感情的事常换常新。你即便朝秦暮楚也没问题。可拉格比却将存在下去。只要拉格比愿意接纳你，你就不应背弃它。在此前提下，完全可以及时行乐。可若当真一拍两散，对你没有什么好处。你要是愿意，一刀两断也可以。你有独立的经济来源，完全可以靠此过活。可你这样做实在有些不值。给拉格比生个小从男爵吧。这未尝不是件有趣的事情。”马尔科姆爵士靠向椅背，再度露出微笑。康妮并未作答。

"I hope you had a real man at last," he said to her after a while, sensually alert.

“希望你碰到了真正的男子汉。”过了一会儿，他对女儿说，一副人老心不老的活泼劲儿。

"I did. That's the trouble. There aren't many of them about," she said.

“我碰到的确实是。这正是让我苦恼的地方。世间的男子汉实在是凤毛麟角。”她说。

"No, by God!" he mused.

“没错，天呢！”他沉思片刻。

"There aren't! Well, my dear, to look at you, he was a lucky man. Surely he wouldn't make trouble for you?” "Oh no! He leaves me my own mistress entirely." "Quite! Quite! A genuine man would." Sir Malcolm was pleased. Connie was his favourite daughter, he had always liked the female in her. Not so much of her mother in her as in Hilda. And he had always disliked Clifford. So he was pleased, and very tender with his daughter, as if the unborn child were his child.

“的确如此！哦，亲爱的，看看你牵肠挂肚的模样，他的确是个幸运的家伙。他自然不会给你惹什么麻烦把？”“噢，没有！他让我自己拿主意。”“那是当然！那是当然！这正是大丈夫所为。”马尔科姆爵士兴高采烈。康妮是他最宠爱的女儿，他喜欢她身上的女人味。她不像希尔达，继承了太多母亲的特质。他也从来没青睐过克利福德。这正是他兴高采烈的原因，而且他无微不至地关怀着女儿，简直比孩子的父亲还要尽责。

He drove with her to Hartland's hotel, and saw her installed: then went round to his club. She had refused his company for the evening.

他开车送她去哈特兰饭店，等她安顿好一切，才返回俱乐部。她告诉父亲，晚上不用来陪她。

She found a letter from Mellors.

她收到梅勒斯的信。

I won't come round to your hotel, but I'll wait for you outside the Golden Cock in Adam Street at seven. There he stood, tall and slender, and so different, in a formal suit of thin dark cloth. He had a natural distinction, but he had not the cut-to-pattern look of her class. Yet, she saw at once, he could go anywhere. He had a native breeding which was really much nicer than the cut-to-pattern class thing.

我不想去饭店，晚上七点，我会在亚当街的金鸡咖啡馆门口等你。他果真站在那儿，依旧高挑修长，而身着黑色薄西服，让他与以往判若两人。他有一种自然的超凡脱俗的气质，却不像贵族阶层的人们那样千篇一律。但她早就看出，他绝非池中之物。他那种与生俱来的涵养，比起那种惺惺作态的仪表，实在胜强百倍。

"Ah, there you are! How well you look!" "Yes! But not you." She looked in his face anxiously. It was thin, and the cheekbones showed. But his eyes smiled at her, and she felt at home with him. There it was: suddenly, the tension of keeping up her appearances fell from her. Something flowed out of him physically, that made her feel inwardly at ease and happy, at home. With a woman's now alert instinct for happiness, she registered it at once. "I'm happy when he's there!” Not all the sunshine of Venice had given her this inward expansion and warmth.

“啊，你来了！气色不错呀！”“是啊！可你看上去不太好。”她心疼地望着他的脸庞。他消瘦许多，颧骨向外凸出。但看到她，他的眼睛仍流露出笑意，和他在一起，她感到无拘无束。正因为此，她紧绷着的面孔突然间松弛下来。某种男子的气魄从他身上散发出来，让她发自内心地感觉轻松愉快，安然自得。凭借女性追求幸福的敏锐本能，她立即产生这样的感想。“因为有他在，我才是幸福的！”任威尼斯的阳光怎样灿烂，都无法让她的心感到宽慰和温暖。

"Was it horrid for you?" she asked as she sat opposite him at table.

“那件事还让你后怕吧？”她跟他隔桌而坐，问道。

He was too thin; she saw it now. His hand lay as she knew it, with the curious loose forgottenness of a sleeping animal. She wanted so much to take it and kiss it. But she did not quite dare.

他瘦得有些脱相，这时她才看得真切。他仍像过去一样，像头熟睡的野兽，将手随意地搁在桌上，好像已经将它遗忘。她多想将它握住，亲吻它。但却没有那样的胆量。

"People are always horrid," he said.

“人言可畏呀。”他说。

"And did you mind very much?" "I minded, as I always shall mind. And I knew I was a fool to mind." "Did you feel like a dog with a tin can tied to its tail? Clifford said you felt like that." He looked at her. It was cruel of her at that moment: for his pride had suffered bitterly.

“你很在意那些风言风语么？”“我在意，我的个性就是如此。虽说我也明白，这样无异于犯傻。”“你感觉自己像条尾巴上拴着锡罐的野狗吗？克利福德说你的感觉很像。”他望着她。此时此刻，她说出这样的话实在有些残忍，因为他的自尊心受到极大的摧残。

"I suppose I did," he said.

“应该是吧。”他说。

She never knew the fierce bitterness with which he resented insult.

她无法察觉，他对这样的侮辱是如何地深恶痛绝。

There was a long pause.

好一会儿没人做声。

"And did you miss me?" she asked.

“你想念我吗？”她问。

"I was glad you were out of it."

“你没有牵扯其中，我深感庆幸。”

Again there was a pause.

又是一阵沉默。

"But did people believe about you and me?" she asked.

“可大家相信关于你我的传闻吗？”她问。

"No! I don't think so for a moment.”

“不！至少现在还不会。”

"Did Clifford?" "I should say not. He put it off without thinking about it. But naturally it made him want to see the last of me." "I'm going to have a child.” The expression died utterly out of his face, out of his whole body. He looked at her with darkened eyes, whose look she could not understand at all: like some dark-flamed spirit looking at her.

“克利福德呢？”“我想他也不会相信。他把事情推到一边，不去费神。不过，传闻让他再也不愿见到我，这也可以理解。”“我怀孕了。”他的表情完全僵住，身体如同木雕泥塑。他那双阴郁的眼睛紧紧盯着她，像某种燃烧着黑色火焰的精灵，她根本无法理解这种表情的含意。

"Say you're glad!" she pleaded, groping for his hand.

“说你很开心！”她拉住他的手，央求着。

And she saw a certain exultance spring up in him. But it was netted down by things she could not understand.

她发觉无法言喻的狂喜从他的心底升腾而起。但这种喜悦却被她难以理解的东西掩盖住。

"It's the future," he said.

“那是将来的事。”他说。

"But aren't you glad?" she persisted.

“可难道你不开心吗？”她追问着。

"I have such a terrible mistrust of the future." "But you needn't be troubled by any responsibility. Clifford would have it as his own, he'd be glad.” She saw him go pale, and recoil under this. He did not answer.

“我从不相信将来。”“可你不需要承担任何责任。克利福德会愉快地接纳它，并视如己出。”她发觉他的脸色变得苍白，流露出厌恶的表情。他没有回答。

"Shall I go back to Clifford and put a little baronet into Wragby?" she asked.

“你要我回到克利福德身边，给拉格比生位小从男爵吗？”她问。

He looked at her, pale and very remote. The ugly little grin flickered on his face.

他只是望着她，脸庞煞白，神情疏远。脸上闪烁着勉为其难的苦笑。

"You wouldn't have to tell him who the father was?” "Oh!" she said; "he'd take it even then, if I wanted him to.”

“你不会告诉他孩子的父亲是谁吧？”“噢！”她说：“即使我说出真相，他也会接受这孩子，只要我希望他这样做。”

He thought for a time.

他沉思了一会儿。

"Ay!" he said at last, to himself. "I suppose he would." There was silence. A big gulf was between them.

“是呀！”最后，他自言自语道,“我想他会接受的。”沉默再度降临。两人之间横亘着无法逾越的深渊。

"But you don't want me to go back to Clifford, do you?" she asked him.

“可你不想我回到克利福德身边，对吗？”她问他。

"What do you want yourself?" he replied.

“你自己打算何去何从呢？”他反问道。

"I want to live with you," she said simply.

“我想和你长相厮守。”她的回答直接明了。

In spite of himself, little flames ran over his belly as he heard her say it, and he dropped his head. Then he looked up at her again, with those haunted eyes.

听到她诚挚的心声，小小的火苗不禁从他的小腹处蹿起，他垂下了头。接着，他又抬起头望着她，眼神如同着魔一般。

"If it's worth it to you," he said. "I've got nothing.” "You've got more than most men. Come, you know it," she said.

“如果你认为那样做值得的话，”他说，“我一无所有。”“你拥有的比绝大多数男人要多。嗨，你清楚这一点。”她说。

"In one way, I know it." He was silent for a time, thinking. Then he resumed: "They used to say I had too much of the woman in me. But it's not that. I'm not a woman not because I don't want to shoot birds, neither because I don't want to make money, or get on. I could have got on in the army, easily, but I didn't like the army. Though I could manage the men all right: they liked me and they had a bit of a holy fear of me when I got mad. No, it was stupid, dead-handed higher authority that made the army dead: absolutely fool-dead. I like men, and men like me. But I can't stand the twaddling bossy impudence of the people who run this world. That's why I can't get on. I hate the impudence of money, and I hate the impudence of class. So in the world as it is, what have I to offer a woman?” "But why offer anything? It's not a bargain. It's just that we love one another," she said.

“这样说来，我明白你的话。”他默默思索着。然后，他继续说道：“过去，他们常说我太娘了。但其实并非如此。我不忍射杀鸟儿，不愿聚敛私财，也不想往上爬，这并非娘们的写照。对我而言，在军队里谋得高位轻而易举，但我却讨厌军旅生涯。虽说我也能把部下管理得服服帖帖，他们都很爱戴我，我生气的时候，他们也都怕得要命。不，都怪那些愚蠢顽固的当权派，是他们将军队搞得死气沉沉，乌烟瘴气。我与世人并无隔阂，大家也都愿意接纳我。我只是无法忍受这个世界当权者的骄横跋扈、厚颜无耻。这正是我不求高升的原因。我憎恨肮脏丑恶的金钱，厌恶不知廉耻的统治阶级。容身的世界尚且如此，我又能拿些什么，来奉献给女人呢？”“可为什么要奉献呢？这并非讨价还价的交易。我们只是彼此相爱。”她说。

"Nay, nay! It's more than that. Living is moving and moving on. My life won't go down the proper gutters, it just won't. So I'm a bit of a waste ticket by myself. And I've no business to take a woman into my life, unless my life does something and gets somewhere, inwardly at least, to keep us both fresh. A man must offer a woman some meaning in his life, if it's going to be an isolated life, and if she's a genuine woman. I can't be just your male concubine.” "Why not?" she said.

“不，不！事情远非如此简单。生活意味着不断前进，不断发展。而我不甘自己的生活堕进微贱。我就像张作废的车票。我无权把一个女人扯进自己的生活，除非能够有所起色，有所成就，至少是内在的，能让彼此都保持新鲜感。男人必须将生命中有意义的部分奉献给自己的另一半，只要她是位诚挚的女子，如果他们愿意相守一生。我不想只做你的情夫。”“为什么？”她问。

"Why, because I can't. And you would soon hate it.” "As if you couldn't trust me," she said.

“呵，因为我无法说服自己。而你很快也会感到厌倦。”“就像你无法信任我一样。”她说。

The grin flickered on his face.

他苦笑着。

"The money is yours, the position is yours, the decisions will lie with you. I'm not just my Lady's fucker, after all.” "What else are you?" "You may well ask. It no doubt is invisible. Yet I'm something to myself at least. I can see the point of my own existence, though I can quite understand nobody else's seeing it.” "And will your existence have less point, if you live with me?" He paused a long time before replying: "It might." She too stayed to think about it.

“你手握金钱，坐拥地位，将决定权牢牢掌控。毕竟，我不只是夫人您的纵欲机器。”“不然，你还是什么”“也难怪你会这样问。毫无疑问，那是看不见摸不着的。但我从不妄自菲薄。我清楚自己生存的意义，虽然我也能理解别人无法看透这一点。”“如果你跟我共同生活，生存的意义会因此减少吗？”他沉默许久，然后回答：“或许会。”她也陷入思考当中。

"And what is the point of your existence?" "I tell you, it's invisible. I don't believe in the world, not in money, nor in advancement, nor in the future of our civilization. If there's got to be a future for humanity, there'll have to be a very big change from what now is.” "And what will the real future have to be like?" "God knows! I can feel something inside me, all mixed up with a lot of rage. But what it really amounts to, I don't know.” "Shall I tell you?" she said, looking into his face. "Shall I tell you what you have that other men don't have, and that will make the future? Shall I tell you?” "Tell me then," he replied.

“你生存的意义究竟是什么？”“我已经说过，那无法言喻。我不相信这个世界，对金钱及进步充满怀疑，甚至对人类文明的未来不抱希望。如果人类想拥有未来，如今的社会必须经历翻天覆地的变革。”“那真正的未来到底是怎样的呢？”“只有上帝才知道！在内心世界，我能感受到某些东西，它们跟无穷无尽的愤怒缠绕在一起。但它究竟是怎样的，我说不清楚。”“我来告诉你答案好吗？”她凝视着他的脸，说道。“我来告诉你，你拥有而其他男人缺少的是什么，真正能够缔造未来的是什么。你想知道吗？”“那就告诉我吧。”他答道。

"It's the courage of your own tenderness, that's what it is: like when you put your hand on my tail and say I've got a pretty tail.” The grin came flickering on his face.

“那就是你有着拥有真挚情感的勇气，你会用手抚摸着我的屁股，真心真意地赞美它，起作用的正是这种情感。”他的脸上再度露出苦笑。

"That!" he said.

“那个呀！”他说。

Then he sat thinking.

接着，他又默默思忖起来。

"Ay!" he said.

“是呀！”他说。

"You're right. It's that really. It's that all the way through. I knew it with the men. I had to be in touch with them, physically, and not go back on it. I had to be bodily aware of them and a bit tender to them, even if I put 'em through hell. It's a question of awareness, as Buddha said. But even he fought shy of the bodily awareness, and that natural physical tenderness, which is the best, even between men; in a proper manly way. Makes 'em really manly, not so monkeyish. Ay! it's tenderness, really; it's cunt-awareness.

“你说得有道理。的确是这种情感。自始至终都是它在起作用。与同性相处时，我也能体验到这种情感。我必须毫无保留地跟他们接触，绝不背弃这种情感。我必须切身地感受到他们，对他们怀有柔情，甚至对他们严加训教的时候也是如此。就像佛祖所言，这是个感受的问题。可即便是佛祖自己，也羞于承认身体的感受，刻意回避与生俱来的肉体温情，而这恰恰是至真至善的，甚至男人之间也是如此，必须以男子汉的方式来解决。让男人成为真正的男子汉，而不仅仅像猴子似的。是呀！的确是情感，是性爱的感受。

Sex is really only touch, the closest of all touch. And it's touch we're afraid of. We're only half-conscious, and half alive. We've got to come alive and aware. Especially the English have got to get into touch with one another, a bit delicate and a bit tender. It's our crying need.” She looked at him.

性爱其实只是种接触，是最亲密无间的接触。也正是你我最害怕的接触。我们的意识并未完全清醒，我们的生命同样不够完整。我们必须彻底清醒过来，迎接完整的生命。英国人尤其如此，必须拿出一点点体贴，献出一点点柔情，诚心诚意地与彼此相处。这是当务之急。”她望着他。

"Then why are you afraid of me?" she said.

“那你为什么害怕我呢？”她问。

He looked at her a long time before he answered.

他盯着她端详许久，才给出答案。

"It's the money, really, and the position. It's the world in you.” "But isn't there tenderness in me?" she said wistfully.

“其实是因为名利地位。因为你所处的世界。”“可难道我缺少柔情吗？”她迫切地问。

He looked down at her, with darkened, abstract eyes.

他那对幽暗深邃的眸子俯视着她。

"Ay! It comes an' goes, like in me.” "But can't you trust it between you and me?" she asked, gazing anxiously at him.

“有呀！那种柔情时隐时现，和我的一样。”“可难道你不相信这种情感存在于你我之间吗？”她问道，急切地凝视着他。

She saw his face all softening down, losing its armour.

她发现他的神情完全缓和下来，将坚硬的盔甲尽数卸去。

"Maybe!" he said. They were both silent.

“或许吧！”他说。两人都不再作声。

"I want you to hold me in your arms," she said. "I want you to tell me you are glad we are having a child." She looked so lovely and warm and wistful, his bowels stirred towards her.

“我想你抱着我。”她说。“我想你告诉我，你很高兴我们即将拥有自己的宝宝。”她那样楚楚动人，热情洋溢，满怀渴望，他的心湖荡起波澜。

"I suppose we can go to my room," he said. "Though it's scandalous again.” But she saw the forgetfulness of the world coming over him again, his face taking the soft, pure look of tender passion.

“咱们可以去我住的地方。”他提议。“虽然这将让丑闻再度滋生。”但她看出，此刻他已经将整个世界抛诸脑后，他的脸庞充满柔情，变得温和而纯净。

They walked by the remoter streets to Coburg Square, where he had a room at the top of the house, an attic room where he cooked for himself on a gas ring. It was small, but decent and tidy.

他们抄小路直奔科堡广场。他寓居的房间位于顶层的阁楼，备有自己做饭用的煤气炉。房间不大，却整洁干净，像模像样。

She took off her things, and made him do the same. She was lovely in the soft first flush of her pregnancy.

她脱光衣服，也让他褪去身上的累赘。怀孕不久的她温软红润，秀腴动人。

"I ought to leave you alone," he said.

“我不该碰你。”他说。

"No!" she said.